It's important to be able to differentiate between your child having a meltdown and a tantrum. This will make avoiding them as well as dealing with them easier.
Lets begin with understanding what each one means. When your child is having a meltdown there is something out of their hands going on. A meltdown encompasses a physical, mental, or sensory element. Common causes of meltdowns include: hunger, lack of sleep, illness, sensory-overload, lack of energy-outlet. This is often avoidable and should not be reprimanded in the same manner as a tantrum.
A tantrum, on the other hand, is simply behavioral. It's a communication tool that your child is using to get a message across and should not be encouraged.
Here is a simple checklist you can use to help you differentiate which is occurring.
Lets begin with understanding what each one means. When your child is having a meltdown there is something out of their hands going on. A meltdown encompasses a physical, mental, or sensory element. Common causes of meltdowns include: hunger, lack of sleep, illness, sensory-overload, lack of energy-outlet. This is often avoidable and should not be reprimanded in the same manner as a tantrum.
A tantrum, on the other hand, is simply behavioral. It's a communication tool that your child is using to get a message across and should not be encouraged.
Here is a simple checklist you can use to help you differentiate which is occurring.
| MELTDOWN Are they looking for a reaction? NO Are they trying to communicate something? NO Are they in control of their behavior? NO Can the child calm down when distracted? NO Are they able to calm down after the situation is resolved? NO | TANTRUM Are they looking for a reaction? YES Are they trying to communicate something? YES Are they in control of their behavior? YES Can the child calm down when distracted? YES Are they able to calm down after the situation is resolved? YES |
Because meltdowns are caused by something external, they should not be reprimanded like a tantrum. One must understand that the child is incapable of controlling their emotions, to a certain extent, because of something occurring TO them. These can be avoided by thinking ahead and being aware of your child's needs, schedules, habits, and states of mind. If you know they did not sleep well last night, or know there is a flu running around the daycare... it might not be the best day to take your child to a 4-hour long theatre show. Snacks are also a great way to avoid meltdowns. If you know that your chid's lunchtime has passed and gone and they haven't been fed you should expect a meltdown. On the other hand, when you know you're going to be in a "bad-food situation" such as a being in a supermarket full of cookies and chips or an adult party full of things you don't want them to eat: have a healthy snack for them, so that they have options.
Tantrums should be treated as behavioral reaction that your child has learned and can be changed. For some reason or another a child who has a tantrum has learned that using yelling, crying, hitting, fits, etc. will get them the things they want. The best way to remedy this is to teach the child that the opposite is true. Until they use appropriate communication skills (calm voice, no crying, verbal communication) they will not get what they are asking for. Remove your child from the situation, explain to the them that you understand they are upset and you will be happy to listen to them when they are ready to use calm words to explain what they want. And then you wait for them to do so. DO NOT give in. This is the most important step. The first times will be the hardest and longest, but it will be worth it in the long run. They must learn that only calm verbal communication will get them results.
Tantrums should be treated as behavioral reaction that your child has learned and can be changed. For some reason or another a child who has a tantrum has learned that using yelling, crying, hitting, fits, etc. will get them the things they want. The best way to remedy this is to teach the child that the opposite is true. Until they use appropriate communication skills (calm voice, no crying, verbal communication) they will not get what they are asking for. Remove your child from the situation, explain to the them that you understand they are upset and you will be happy to listen to them when they are ready to use calm words to explain what they want. And then you wait for them to do so. DO NOT give in. This is the most important step. The first times will be the hardest and longest, but it will be worth it in the long run. They must learn that only calm verbal communication will get them results.
RSS Feed
